Hope everyone’s excited for a nice long weekend! In a sudden bout of asceticism, I’ve decided to stop drinking for 28 days, for a few reasons. Last time I did this was about 4 years ago, a month before I took the GRE’s. The results were kind of astounding. I lost weight, saved money, and actually got smarter. Like, Barney at NASA smart (shout-out to my South American readers)! Afterward, and for the last few years, I’ve gained weight, gotten significantly stupider, and now owe my parents a few grand—what can I say, it’s a steep slope!
Then last month my friend Joe (@joestanton) showed me the Sober February site. I hadn’t been planning on it, but every once in a while the thought of cutting down on drinking or going sober for a period of time had occurred to me, so I thought “Why not?” Of course, their timing was a little off, because it was Nikki's wedding. So I decided to do it right after, up until March 11th. It's only been 8 days, and I've already had my first challenge. I went out with my usual Wednesday crowd, and they found out I wasn't drinking. The reaction was about 45 minutes straight of blind rage, harassment, cajoling, bargaining (probably all the stages of grief collapsed). My friend Dan was calling me selfish because he only has about one month left before his wife gives birth and his life is effectively over. Ashish told me I could drink that day and just be sober another day at the end (p.s. he was going to do Sober February with me, and broke in 12 hours. We are all enablers). Jonny (the roommate) complained that I wasn’t drinking for his birthday, and that we had a gallon of beer to finish at Fette Sau. Josh just called me dumb. Over and over, with little variation. Like, “You dumb dummy.” I held out. Meanwhile, there’s a 6-pack of Four Loko sitting in the fridge, like a ticking time-bomb. Pray for me.
This morning, to combat the destructive urges that come over me during the week, I started hot yoga, and wow, do I understand now why yoga people are into healthy food and don’t like to drink. If I had come in even a little hungover I would have been vomiting during that class. I almost did as it was. After my first yoga class, I feel odd…kind of proud, self-righteous, pitying of those unenlightened louts who surround me and are just waking up by the time I’m doing my last breathing exercise. Now I get those pitying looks I used to receive! It all makes sense!
Which brings me to the point, which is that I have a new meal scheduled for President’s Day, and I know it’s not going to be seared Ahi tuna with watercress. My month of healthy living is going to run headlong into the cemetery I’ve come to correlate with Texas. Either this will be an excellent counter-balance, the yin and yang of meat and potatoes with deep stretching and sobriety, or my soul will be torn apart. So that will be a nice subplot for the next month. Stay tuned!